SO MUCH BLUES, NO MORE TIME

"Eddy.... 
...you're getting to be nothing more then a grumpy, uninformed old man.
...you must have been a spoiled brat as a child.
...when you get right down to it you don't really have much respect for musicians 
or know much about music.
You're so full of crap I can smell you all the way over here in the east end...
What a little piss ant..."

Gary Kendall - Toronto Blues Society Board Member & Maple Blues Award Winner
January 16, 2007

BLUES GANG

Please check this page in the future for updates as I believe there's more comments to be added.

December 16, 2007

I've finally made a decision to retire from the Blues world.
So what would make a 43 year fan of the Blues make a choice like this?
It's hard to put in words, but I'll try. Below are my final thoughts and comments about the Blues scene.

Earlier this year the 'Great' Gary Kendall made some very heavy comments about me personally and also about my involvement within the Blues world that really hit me hard, especially with the following two statements: "...when you get right down to it you don't really have much respect for musicians or know much about music." Hopefully in my many years in the Blues those were the two major accomplishments I really hoped to achieve within my involvement on the Blues scene. When Kendall made these statements about me I decided to lay back and make a decision and revaluate about my future worth in the Blues. Considering the source of these comments I could just let them go, but I can't! If this is the kind of compliment I get after all my years in the Blues from an established enterprise in the Blues like Kendall, I must be doing something wrong! Unfortunately for me as an emotional human being I'm deeply affected by these comments and about my personal life that has been portrayed by him and others on some Blues lists. It's just not the fact that Kendall laid waste on my life, and not that I expected it, but the deafening silence that not one person within the Canadian Blues scene, musician or fan, had any opinion to publicly say about his portrayal of me, and to me that hurt more! Even though I'm not a musician and I still believe I've had to work harder to be accepted by musicians.  I must now accept Kendall's comments as truth and now have a sense in me that because they were made I've somehow failed within the Blues community. Since his statements were publicly posted I guess I've fulfilled their meaning. At one time before these comments I would venture out into the clubs sometimes two to three, or even four times a week to see, talk to and document Blues artists, but now over the last year I've decided not to go out because I can't look in the eyes of those musicians feeling that apparently I don't respect them or will ever learn anything about the music they play.

Therefore because of my lack of "respect for musicians" or that I do not "know much about music", I've decided to retire from the Blues world.

With that being said, I've realized, so much Blues, no more time.

There are many reasons for this final decision, which hopefully you'll understand and I've outlined below.

I think it's finally the right time to close this chapter in my life and get out, so I'm finally retiring from the Blues.

There are a lot of great and positive aspects to the Blues, but when I get right down to it, I just don't care about the Blues the same way anymore. Maybe in part it's because of what's happened to me personally over the years. But I can say the passion and desire I once had in my soul is gone and it's not entirely my own fault.

I guess some people's worse fear about my life is that I've had fun. Damn right I did, and more! There is always that proverbial question that we might ask ourselves in life, "Don't you think ya coulda done something better with the life that God gave you?". To answer that, I'm happy, yes I coulda done better, but I'm happy with what I've accomplished or contributed in this world, especially when it's concerning' the Blues. To some it maybe too much, and to some nothin' at all. I was there not only for myself, but also in my overall feelin' to share what I've experienced. Hopefully in my own way, just something to make the Blues a little better for all!

I also realized I've only touched the edge of my involvement in the Blues.

There's always been another performance I wanted to attend, another review I wanted to write, another artist or person I wanted to meet, always-another post that I wanted to reply to, and always-another photograph I wanted to take.

I love the things that some can do for others, but on the other hand, I also despise what some can do towards others. There is an old sayin' and I think it goes something like this, " Evil will triumph, if good people do nothing". Yes, I know some people don't like what I represent in the Blues community and many of those have never met me or care to understand my point of view. But even with the lack of feelin' that they may believe I have, I still get a tear in my eye when I hear a Blues tune that means something to me that tears my blue heart to pieces.

I once thought I could hopefully enjoy in my retirement years with what I have, but in reality it will soon just become a memory! I've always said that I don't own my collection; I'm just a time holder right now. It will be passed on to people who care about the Blues through sellin' it off. So true, because what I have now has to be sold just to live and survive.

Yes, I've lead a somewhat rewarding life in the Blues, even considerin' I've been banned from public "community" radio as a programmer and also banned on some internet Blues lists for expressin' my beliefs in the "discussion" of the reality of the Blues.

BLUES RADIO & BLUES REVIEWERS:

I've been a Blues radio host, but since that's gone, thankx to a few of the Blues controllers, I guess I've been only a somewhat a Blues reviewer over the last few years, although I feel I was a better on-air programmer than I am a writer.
Which kinda gets to my point, the difference I see between the two of them, though there are a few out in the Blues world that do both.
I believe DJs definitely get more promo recordings than reviewers. I also think it's easier to be a radio host than to write reviews. Some radio hosts sound like they got the CD in the mail that day, put on a cut and while the track is playin' look at the cover notes quickly then say a few words about it after, and guess what! they've somewhat pleased their audience, the artist and the record label even if they never play a track again, and then it's on to the next CD.
From experience I'd have say reviewers have it harder as they have to get more in-depth with what they are going to listen to and finally write about. Reviewers actually have to play the whole record, read the entire liner notes and maybe research some extra history on the artist. Then the big part, writing the review which overall can take hours if you want the readers to fully feel and understand what you are tryin' to say.
A partial bravo to Blues radio, but an extra bravo to Blues reviewers.

It's a cryin' shame the broadcasting of Blues radio in the downtown region of Toronto region is exclusively controlled by programmers that are card carryin' Board members that belong to a Blues organization or one of their conies. Even these radio show 'fill-ins' or 'replacements' are somewhat part of the same organization. There is no independent voice left in this region's radio Blues programming.

TORONTO BLUES SOCIETY:

Blues societies can do a lot for their musical communities either as a fan or as a musician. But as in many cases with the good also comes the bad! There's a lot of political backstabbin' and backroom politics that most people don't see, hear about or don't even care about, well that is until it becomes personal. Well tell me, my old radio show, and my personal online opinions about it!

The first mention of forming a Toronto Blues Society was in an article in Living Blues Magazine a few years before it was actually put in place and it was placed in the magazine by Andy Grigg, of the future Real Blues Magazine. When Andy couldn't pursue his dream because of personal issues in his life he handed over all of his plans and info about starting a Toronto Blues Society that he had collected from various Societies throughout the USA to the future TBS President for life.

The true history of the roots of the TBS has been changed a few times over the years on their official website. At one time its formation was credited to an unnamed group of individuals who met at the Hotel Isabella in 1985. This dedicated team at the first meetings got down the concepts of actually starting the TBS and laid down the grounds for membership, rules and regulations and the layout for the first newsletter and over many months got the ball rollin'. They all contributed some information and input to form the TBS. Now the founding is solely credited to the "Big Three Blues Trio" who proudly stood on stage at the TBS 20^th Anniversary while many others have been ‘forgotten’ in TBS history.

The TBS actually started in 1985 (even though for a number of years they stated "since 1984" on the cover of their mag). This mistake was pointed out to one of their Board members by me and was quickly changed in their next issue.

I believe the TBS Board works under three motives, control, control and then there's control!

There are individuals on TBS Board that will tell you through their newsletter to go out and support the Blues, but when was the last time you saw one of these head Board members out at a Blues show? When I used to go out numerous times a week I would only see some of them maybe a few times a year, except occasionally at their own publicized events to hold face. Are these the people that you want to 'control' your Blues?

I must admit I don’t know a great deal about the inner workings of a non–profit organization, but the TBS seems to get a number of Government grants, that we pay for as tax payers, and add to that what appears to be another number of paid sponsorships from companies to put on their events according to the listings in the MapleBlues newsletter and I still can’t understand why they charge so much in admission fees to Blues fans who wish to attend these functions as they do. When was the last time you went to a TBS event to promote the Blues that was ‘free’ to all and for potential new comers to the Blues?

Sometimes I have to believe that either your with them, and if your not, then you must be obviously against them! Or if ya don't wanna play their game, ya become the game! If you end up being in their scoped cross-sights, heaven help you because you could become an extinct species.

It seems that some are just happy to pay their yearly membership. Get their card, receive their monthly newsletter, and go to membership events and in their own minds believe that they are part of something without doin' anything except throwin' a few bucks towards those that control your Blues. There seems to a lot of sheep in the fold led by "Shepard's", or as they say, "Go with the flow". I've always believed that the Blues is much more than that!

Simply put, keep your mouth shut, pay your yearly dues, get your membership card and newsletter, go out to a few of the scheduled events and Bluzola you are in good standing! Now you have been dictated knowledge about the Blues and belong to a community!

For every five artists they believe in promoting for certain reasons, there are another ten artists on the Canadian, and in particular the Toronto Blues scene that won't get the same promotion.

Those that say I'm against the TBS are so wrong! Check your monthly newsletters and see the pictures that I've made available to them for their publication use.  Also please check the first and early issues of the TBS newsletters for my total involvement within the TBS in respect with written articles and photographs that I contributed, you would be amazed! I'm just against the control that a few have, and have maintained that concept over the years.

Even though the statement of purpose on the front cover of each TBS monthly newsletter says the "TBS is non profit organization dedicated to the promotion and preservation of the Blues ", I personally left my involvement behind with the TBS after three years of existence when I realized this was directly related to the 'promotion and preservation' of some of their Board members.

I will say it one last time, I'm not against the TBS as an organization, but I'm not in favor of the way some of the Board Members for Life use their ideals of power.

Their members dominate the nominating panels for the Juno Awards in the Blues category, the MapleBlues Awards, the TBS Talent Search as judges and who knows what else in Canada's music community.

Some of their Board are standin' on platforms and keep tellin' ya that future of the Blues really isn't the Blues at all!

I'm sure the 'President for Life' of the TBS, who I rarely see out there on the Blues scene, at the end of his reign will be garnish a nod for the 'Blues With a Feeling (Lifetime Achievement Award)'. Befitting as he was the only recipient that I know of that received "the first TBS Honorary Lifetime Charter Membership" after only two years of the existence of the TBS (page 2, TBS newsletter June 1987)

The TBS needs a restructure of new life after all these years. It needs more than 'Board members for Life' if wants to continue in the future of the Blues.

Unfortunately for me I just know to many TBS backroom games that I could mention, but I won't.

MAPLEBLUE-L:

Ya know I've learned a lot of things from bein' on these Blues lists and some of them have hundreds of members. One of them is that people are afraid to get involved in any form of Blues discussion whether or not these lists are controlled for that agenda or not. And if they are, it's a disgrace to the Blues world. There could be something said about my posts on some Blues lists. Though at times informative about the Blues and may create a "discussion" mood about the Blues, there seems to be a "no reply" attitude among the majority of "fans" that are surly afraid to get involved because their opinions will be noted by those that wanna control the Blues scene.

The Blues is more than just gig and playlist posts! Blues is a music that has been discussed for decades to find it's meanin', roots and future! If this is disallowed on some Internet Blues lists because of control that will only benefit a few and not the majority. 

I'm tired of gettin' off-list replies to my posts because individuals don't want to make their opinions, or their names known! What is everyone scared of, losin' your "status" in the Blues Community for sayin' something?

Congratulations to the very few that actually have something to say. If Blues lists only have gig or playlist posts that says very little about the music.

Is watchin' Blues DVDs, listenin' to CDs, or lurkin' on Blues lists, all you really want?

Blues music was created to tell a story, to bring out emotions and if that doesn't draw out something in your soul to be known, you might as well be a mindless sheep in a herd! Without discussion, or at times a debate, there is nothing to continue the legacy of the music, just control of it! When an organization says that their mandate is " dedicated to the promotion and preservation of the Blues" and they don't allow it to happen on their Blues list, it says a lot to me. No wonder the Blues is dyin', if you feel this way, you're already dead as some of the Blues lists!

Earlier this year I tried to post a number of live gigs on MB-L to help out a few Blues musician friends who are not on the lists. Every time I got a reply from MB-L stating that I could not post to the list. I wrote the Moderator four times asking why, but not once did I get a reply to my emails. That's when, in part, I decided to get off all the Blues lists. Recently a friend has been forwarding some of the posts that have appeared on MB-L for me to read. After reading them I still don't understand why I got banned from posting and others don't! Once again I have to believe that MB-L is biased against some and show strong favoritism to others!

Here are a few other quotes that I got off-list over the last few years from TBS members:
"As a blues lover and a member of the Blues Society I'm sick of your bullshit!" - TBS charter member
"...so you know, it'll be a long year of chilly Sundays before you get another
radio gig again - at least in this town." - RF, a sometime TBS Board member and Publicity agent

Once I even got an off-list reply from a "Blues radio celebrity" in this city questioning that I once put in my email signature, "42 years of diggin' the Blues". Strange, as it was from a person whom I found was backstabbin’ me with letters, though claiming somewhat to be a friend, from my personal file at CIUT and also claims, "21 years of bringing you the Blues".

My last few posts on MB-L about the talent search and MBAs received off-list replies from their office as they usually do, the last one statin' and I quote, to "tone it down" because my posts are "bordering on inflammatory" and to post "without the vitriol".

MAPLE BLUES AWARDS:

Another three point view as the MBAs are based on popularity, then popularity and finally popularity!

Over the years many things have changed regarding the MBAs because some Blues fans that have had any guts, like myself, have spoken out publicly about them.
1. No longer can a TBS Board member vote in a category, if their band or they are individually nominated.
2. There is in each category an "Other" line so you can personally vote for your own choice if you choose not to vote for an artist chosen by the 'Nominating Panel'.
3. The Blues With a Feeling (Lifetime Achievement Award) can now be finally voted on by Blues fans.

Regardless, I still believe some changes still have to be made:
Makin' the votin' in both official languages as votin' is only in English and that's a shame! I believe this may alienate some French language Blues fans from coast to coast!

Over the last few years the INTERNATIONAL ARTIST OF THE YEAR, a category that I don't personally like, was recently named after B.B. King! So why can't other categories also be named in respect for legendary Canadian Blues artists? One easy example I can think of is the HARMONICA PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD! Could be, and should be, named after King Biscuit Boy (Richard Newell) for his dedication to the Blues throughout his life! These categories could also be worked with; I hate to say it, the financial sponsorship of a company! This would at least finally pay some honorable homage to the great Canadian Blues musicians that have laid the 'roots' for a number of contemporary Canadian Blues artists that in the future will be presented with these awards!
I also believe that any artist that is presented with the Blues With a Feeling (Lifetime Achievement Award) should be ineligible for any future awards, regardless of category, as accepting this award pretty well says it all about the recipient.
Another belief I have is that if any artist is a recipient of an award, in any category, more than say three times they should be ineligible in the future as this would pave the way for up and coming artists to be a recipient for an award and continue the legacy of the Blues in this country.

The Maple Blues Awards should go on a road trip for a few years. Let other Canadian Blues Societies in major cities host the awards, therefore presenting their local scene and having a Maple Blues Band made up of their local Blues musicians. After all the Maple Blues Band since inception has been basically formed from Toronto artists and it's becomin' quite borin'. About time the MBAs flipped the scenario. Believe me I know this will never happen as far as I can see as the TBS just gets to much money from government grants to let it go anywhere other than Toronto!  That's a National Blues shame!

The MBA's always have been musician orientated, with the one except of the 'Blues Booster' category. In reality there is more to the Blues world than just the artists that play the music. Without the existence of some sort of media, like reviewers, radio, photographers, record labels and venues to name a few to promote the artists, fans wouldn't read about or hear about them and in turn go out and support these artists. Yes, technically all of these could be placed under the title of 'Blues Booster', but I feel it's about time that the individuals in the various media should be acknowledged for their contributions to the Blues by honouring them as much as any musician in any Blues awards programme.

Now if we can only get the "Blues Booster of the Year Award" out of the sole votin' hands of the TBS Board and be voted on like the rest of the categories by all fans, that would be a another giant step for all Blueskind in Canada! Again this year the recipient is a TBS friendly winner. Not undeserving, but I can think of at least one other individual, as I'm sure we all can, that should have been be considered. A person in the Peterborough area that hosts a Blues radio show, writes about the Blues in the local major newspaper and promotes the Blues by booking Blues venues at local establishments should have and would have been a truer "Blues Booster" recipient this year. Hopefully a few Blues people will know who I'm talkin' 'bout! But let's make this final votin' change to the MBAs!

If the TBS wants to control voting in a particular category by their members or Board they should create one to honour one of their own members either as a fan or as a long time dedicated volunteer! A Fan or Volunteer Award would be a nice addition to the overall programme.

TORONTO BLUES SOCIETY TALENT SEARCH:

First of all, what's the problem with a Blues Society calling their Talent Search a "BLUES" Talent Search!?
The 2006 Talent Search was to me a farce! During the 2006 search I had a somewhat debate online on mapleblue-L with one of their "members" about the "Talent Search" and it was concluded that TBS Talent Search was in reality a "Roots Music Talent Search". Then the winners were finally announced online on their "Blues" list. Yes, out of the finalists the only non-Blues act won! One of the artists in that group admitted to me personally that they were not Blues artists and did not actually submit to be part of the "Talent Search" but were asked to participate. Then I learned that they were connected to someone in the TBS. Finally the President of the TBS then came online and declared that the winners were the "future of Canadian Blues". What a joke!
The 2007 Search was a little better in the sole fact that the artists involved were actually Blues. But having the final showcase at Toronto's City Hall in the middle of a workday did little to promote the finalists or the Blues.

BLUES PHOTOGRAPHY:

For every thousand Blues artists out there is about fifty Blues writers, for every fifty Blues writers there is about one Blues photographer that documents the Blues and I believe that is a fact.

For years I've been doing what I know best, photographing the Blues on the Toronto scene. But also knowing it has little relevance in the overall scene.

It seems every week I get a few emails or a phone call requesting the use of one of my photos for a book, DVD, CD or a website that will hopefully financially benefit the publisher, the company or the artist. Their payment as always of course is, ...they'll give you a photo credit as nobody wants to pay anything. Over the years I've gladly given away freely so many of my photos for the use on artist's websites, posters and CDs. Ask a musician to play free all the time and guess what their answer would be?!
Doesn't anybody understand the continual umpteen costs over the many years of photo equipment like cameras, lenses, processing your film, and proper storage! Let alone the recent developments like the cost of quality scanning equipment and filing onto discs!
Documentation of the Blues is not a given, like being a musician, there is practice, time spent, costs and just being there!
For what it's worth, I still haven't made enough money from my images in the Blues throughout the decades to pay for the first really good camera I bought in 1968!

Blues photography with a single shot camera seems to be these days a lost art form. There are a number of videographers out there that shoot moving pictures and with the digital world the way it is today they have countless frames within their grasp to take a one single image and have a picture that is good enough lately for a website and with the small size of CD covers or within inner notes the image is good enough. Actual print size is a different concept, but I have learned who cares about a real photograph to hang on your wall in your music room!

Because of what I do in the Blues I feel sometimes that everybody expects me to give and give again because it's expected of me.
They say your lifetime work will be appreciated after your gone! I won't let that happen!
Very few people have ever bought one of my personally documented photos over the years. Damn it if I'll let somebody profit from my final demise if I couldn't while I was livin'. I guarantee before I go everything I've documented in film and/or recordings in the Blues will be gone.

BLUEHEART ARCHIVE WEBSITE:

Believe me no one knows more than I do, and appreciates, the incredible personal help and sacrifice that some have made to make the BHA website what it is to date. Although I personally feel that BHA website is a great resource about the Blues there will be nothing more to add in the future. So unfortunately it will be taken it off the Internet when my renewal comes up in to save the yearly financial cost of it being there and my personal time spent on any new additions to it.
My renewals are due in early of 2008.
For 2008:
Hosting & serving fee: $314.55
Domain name fee: $40.00. I've decided to retain my Domain name for at least another year.
Let's be honest here, these are costs that I can't afford anymore when I couldn't even sell a few photographs to keep the website alive.

Please note: My Hosting & Serving Company gave me a much better rate for the 2008 year, so I've decided to keep the BHA website up for at least another year.

THE FUTURE OF THE BLUES:

Lets be honest here, most of the great legends of the Blues remaining are but a few.
I've been very fortunate to meet and see perform a few of the first generation recording artists like Bukka White, Son House and Furry Lewis to name a few. Again I've also been very fortunate to meet and see perform a lot of the second generation recording artists like Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf, Freddy King, Albert Collins and many, many more.

Over the years even the Canadian Blues scene has lost many of it's founding Blues masters like King Biscuit Boy and Dutch Mason. Although there are a numbers of great and talented Canadian Blues artists also carrying on the tradition of the Blues in this country sometimes I have to wonder why I have gone out at times to see a second rate bass player who can't sing just because he's got his own band but has made his reputation playin' with an establish band that only performs a handful of times a year.

The real Blues has been lost over the years in its roots location, in the clubs. It seems to me the future of the Blues is in Summer time Blues Festivals and that doesn't hold in my personal opinion any yearly real future for the Blues. Blues in bars is not a given anymore, it's an event now! In Toronto there's no more "Premier Blues Club". There are a number of venues having live Blues maybe only once or twice a month now. If I'm not mistaken, even Toronto's NOW Magazine has given up having a voting category for "Best Blues Club" in their yearly "Best Of" reader's poll!

With all the talk over the years about what to do about bringing in the younger generation into the Blues, I still don't see it happening. What I do see is a number of younger Blues musicians on the scene, but it seems they out weight the number of a younger generation of Blues fans.

THE FUTURE OF MY BLUES:

After the 2007 year there is none in my future. It has been said that the Blues is dyin' in the musical world. I believe that it will always survive as it has done for decades in the hearts of those that believe in this historical music, which formed the basis of Americana roots music. I thought a few years ago when the retro-swing thing hit the mainstream musical charts that the Blues wasn't far behind, but it didn't happen. We all hope some of the younger generation will pick up on this incredible music form, but even those young people who profess a love of the music I still only see occasionally out there on the Blues scene!
As the Blues world gets more control over it I believe less people will want to be become part of it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

When the Canadian Blues scene loses the control over it by a small handful of people I hardly ever see out there, or Muddy Waters performs at the Colonial Tavern again, or maybe when I win the lottery, then I'll believe in the Blues again!
Until then, check out my auctions on e-Bay as I'm sellin' off my Blues collection of vintage 78s, 45s, LPs, posters, publicity photos and musical instruments just to survive, and at this point many have already been sold! If you're lookin' for any of those or a CD that you might have missed let me know, as they are ready to go!

Over the last few years I've lost my interest in the Blues due to personal comments made about me publicly and the control factor in the Blues. I know I have at least one more love and passion left in my life. Therefore, I've renewed my interest in vintage 3D technology and motion picture history, with a special interest in Horror and Science-fiction films, from the silent era of the 1920's to the early 70's. As with the way I've always felt about the Blues, I'll dedicate the years I have left to a personal research, understanding and documenting these great films.

I have heard Robert Johnson sing in 1936 about his deal in standing at the "Cross Road Blues", but I've also seen Faust do the same in F.W. Murnau's silent 1926 classic film.
I've seen "Creature From The Black Lagoon" in 3-D, but I've also had to live in a life with the "Creatures From The Blues League Of Goons"!
Even Peter Parker (Spider-Man) has been more successful at photography than I have been.

Overall, documenting film, like the Blues, also brings at times tears to my eyes.

I feel very good about what I may have accomplished in the Blues over the years, although some may feel otherwise. Funny as it may seem, not much of has to do from the Toronto Blues scene, which is to be expected.
My name is mentioned in over 200 products in the Blues throughout those years either in books, cassettes, LPs, CDs as a contributor, photographer, and writer or even just as thanks for supporting the Blues.
I've had close to 10 years of volunteering to promote the Blues through my various radio programmes.
I am very proud that I've been a recipient of five Real Blues Magazine Awards.
That I've had the opportunity to be a W.C. Handy, now The Blues Awards, judge at least nine times and a Juno Blues category judge on a few occasions.
The two CD volumes of Midnite Blues Party were well acclaimed around the world in very positive reviews. Too bad I just couldn't "Midnite Mammas" volume three out, as I know Blues fans would have enjoyed it.
The number of Blues artists that I've been able to meet and photograph and get them to sign an autograph for me throughout my life by far has been the most rewarding of my memories.

I find it a little weird that in all my years in music I was once a member of a few bands. First 'The Missing Links' as a vocalist and bass player from 1966-67 and then with the 'White Boy Band' from 1970-72 as a vocalist and harp player. Even though as a lot of musical players of the time I was still developing my skills as a musician, I decided to turn my back on a musical career to collect, research and photograph the Blues rather than be a musician. Maybe that was a wrong choice at the time as there is a possibility I'd be up for one of those blue leafy awards over the years, but it was a choice that I decided to pursue with no personal award but my own.

Hate me for what I've said, it's expected, but I'll probably be one of the last few in the Canadian Blues community that actually has an opinion! Hopefully a few will walk in my shoes and live some of the experiences I've felt and had to deal with over the years. Sound negative? To some maybe, but there’s a lot positive points in what I've written! The best one is that I'll be gone from the Blues scene! I know my prescience and my opinions will not be missed in the Blues! I strongly believe there will be a few individuals out there that will carry on the tradition of documenting the Blues by writing, posting and photographing like I have in the past, but hopefully they will have what it seemed that I lacked, and seemed what I've ever been able to accomplish in my time allowed in the Blues, the "respect for musicians" and the knowledge to "know much about music".

Many friends over the last little while have asked me not to retire from the Blues scene as the Blues Society in their words "will win”....but haven't they already! The point is that I've met too many ruthless people out there who just have some personal agendas and personal gains that are above all and really don't give a damn about anything else. At times it just seems they out weight those that really care about the Blues. Interesting to note lately, that CKLN radio is in a court case right now involving two dismissed volunteer programmers who have retained my lawyer in my case against CIUT radio and one person behind the scenes at CKLN is a Blues Programmer at the station who backstabbed me in my case with CIUT.

The next time you're out and see Toronto's Great 'Ken Doll' make sure to thank and shake the hand of, if it's not to busy polishing a household full of blue leafy trophies, for helping me make my final decision to forget about the Blues which was always been a big part of my life. I actually feel a Blues organization victory party is in the works!

I've tried to learn as much as I could over the years about the Blues and, when I could, I've tried to share whatever limited knowledge I have with others. It seems to me that my life has always been countless rows on shelves of vertical collectibles that have given me life through documentation, history, and research with the ultimate goal of understanding, knowledge, entertainment and fun! It seems that in some way it will continue to be so with films!

Over the years I always felt the Blues kept me young at heart, but it's time to stay at home, get old, fat and gray like some Blues fans and a lot of Blues Board members. The truth is that I'll just be one less body in a club spending my money and one less fan supporting the Blues like them!

There was one more show this year that I wanted to check out and that's when the legendary Billy Boy Arnold came to town for the first time in November. It was my personal farewell party to the Blues. Who knows if I'll get out next year maybe for a few times, like a friends Birthday, but I know nothing will ever be like it was for me in the past years in my time in the Blues!

I don't leave this Blues world with any regrets or without discovering my dream, but it's time to find a new one, I did what I did for me personally, but with that in mind I'm also glad I got the opportunity to share so many great times with artists and people that actually cared. I've had a good time and after 43 years it has been a great ride! Hopefully in my next reincarnation I will learn respect and knowledge.

I've come to the end of my Blues journey, and it's highway, and find myself standin' at the crossroads once again to strike up another deal for life! I believe I'll enjoy my new life where I don't have to have a comment about the Blues and no one will have to have a future comment about my life or my involvement in the Blues!

Thank you all for putting up with my posts, my updates, my opinions and me!

I would also like to thank all those that believed in me over all these years and there is no doubt I will definitely miss hangin' out with all of you.

Happy Holidays to all and the Best in the New Year.
Take care and keep those Blues alive in whatever way you can.

Sail on...
Eddy B

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